Blogger's Block and Other Life Happenings

It is said that the number one rule of blogging is to do so regularly.  My readers (both of them) expect it.  But, I don't like to blog just to blog.  Why say something if you don't have anything good to say?  How annoying is that?!

Lately, I've had a serious case of blogger's block and I know why.  Over the course of the last year, the Rev. and I have been contemplating and praying about whether or not our time at our church is done.  We came to the conclusion that it was.  At the time, we did not know where the Lord was leading us, only that He was leading us to move on.  Not knowing the future is a scary thing.  It is not that any of us know it, but when we are in a steady job, in our mortgaged home, driving our mini van with 2.3 kids, we can at least fool ourselves into thinking we are in control. 

But, often, ministry is different.  Pastors and their families never seem to know when the Lord will move them on and in my opinion, this is a good thing.  It keeps us from relying on ourselves and instead causes us to lean on God. 

About three years ago a good friend, who is also a pastor's wife, moved from our little town to a bigger one in ND.  Before she left, she gave me a great piece of advice.  She told me to read Jeremiah 29, so I did.  It said to settle in the land God lead you to, to have kids, and pray for it.  We did.

Then, that's when the rumbling started.  There was a rumbling that this wasn't permanent, it wasn't forever, and that God had a different plan for both us and for our church.

During the past year, we have prayed, and prayed, and prayed some more about leaving and each time I wondered if we were making the right decision, I would see Jeremiah 29:11.  I have seen/read/heard this verse more times in the past year than in my entire life combined.

In March, we made the trip to our new church to candidate.  Interviewing with a three year old and a ten month old for an entire weekend in front of an entire congregation has to be the toughest interview I've ever had and I wasn't even applying for the job- the Rev. was.  But, that is another post for another time.

At the end of the weekend, I slipped out of Sunday School to try to get KJ to nap.  Without having any luck, I made my way from the nursery in the basement to the landing on the stairs and looked up.  That is where I saw a poster with Jeremiah 29:11 printed.  Then I knew that we were in His will.  We would be offered the position at this church and we would take it.  Through the months of praying, wondering, seeking and questioning, He kept reminding me that there was a purpose, a plan in all of it for my future.

I needed to go through those months.  I went through an awkward work experience and grieved the loss of a friendship.  I needed to step out in faith and quit my job, with nothing new lined up and to be honest, a very tight budget.  I needed to go through not knowing what the future held.  I needed to do this so I would rely on Him more and in turn He can use me to minister more.

So, now I know our next step  and it is a new pastorate.  It is interesting how God brings us on our journeys.  There are some out there that think that everything should always be easy- after all, He promises not to harm us right?  But, the Christian walk can be hard at times.  What is hardest for me is to trust Him.  I struggle to wait on Him.  I would much rather take things into my own hands than to not know what will happen tomorrow.

But, as C.S. Lewis puts it best, "The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is."

So, as the sun sets on another day, this chronic worrier is going to head to bed with the knowledge that He knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper and not to harm me, to give me a hope and a future.

May you remember to cling to God and the knowledge of His love for you.