First Steps and More Old Dead Guys.

The Prairie Parsonage now has four out of four family members who can walk!  Our little KJ decided to take her first steps while I was making dinner a few weeks ago.  For a girl with a set of lungs, her first steps were dainty and cautious, as if she wasn't sure what would happen if she put one foot in front of the other.  It was almost uncharacteristic of her.  In fact, it was the first time I really saw her be cautious of anything (this is a girl who body slam wrestles the rest of the family-cautious is not really in her nature).

This new found talent of walking has not come without a cost though.  She has a scrape on her face from a fall against the toy box and wails were heard throughout the county as she fell again this afternoon.  She is learning and falling is part of it.  If she doesn't step out in faith, with a few stumbles along the way, then she will never learn to walk.  She is learning that her legs do have the strength to hold her up and that putting one foot in front of the other does in fact get her to where she wants to go. 

It makes me think of Pascal's Wager.  Blaise Pascal is another old dead guy that occassionally gets mentioned around the Prairie Parsonage.  And yes, my pastor husband does think it is attractive when I throw Pascal's quotes around like I actually know what I am talking about.  Pascal was apparently a brainiac because not only was he a philospher, but also a mathmetician and physicist.  Personally, I think that a person should only be allowed one area of expertise, but that's just my opinion.  Little E has some new superhero underwear that he wears with pride.  Which superhero to wear on which day is quite a decision.  To me, Blaise Pascal having the superpowers of insane knowledge philosophy, math, and physics is just plain wrong.  But, I digress.

Mr. Pascal, the real Superman, came up with an argument called Pascal's Wager.  This wager was a big deal, not just because what it said, but because it blazed new trails with probability theory and decision theory.  But, for me, what the argument actually said is what is most important.

Pascal's Wager is this.  If you believe in God, you gain all of eternity.  If God doesn't exist, but you believe in Him, you have lost nothing.  But, if you don't believe in God and He does exist, then you will spend eternity in hell- you have lost everything.  So basically, believing in God is the best bet.  It is the best wager.  Pascal puts it like this, "If you gain, you gain all.  If you lose, you lose nothing.  Wager then, without hesitation that He exists."  (www.brainyquotes.com)

So, like little KJ, we sometimes need to step out if faith.  If she had never tried to walk, she would miss out on a lifetime of running, skipping, and jumping.  She would never know the joy of doing all the things that most children do.  In the end, she would have lost out.

I know that most of you reading this blog probably already know Christ.  But, some of you don't.  If not, my question is this.  Why?  What do you have to lose by choosing Him?  Because if you do choose Christ, you will have an eternity of walking side by side with your Maker.

It is my prayer that little KJ will someday use her steps on the other side of heaven, throwing caution to the wind and run straight into the arms of her savior.  And it is my prayer that you will believe in God, the safe bet, and are able to join her too.

Blessings to you!

I can walk!

P.S. If you are reading this, please pray for the Collins and Cook families from Evansdale, IA.  Their little girls have been missing since Friday.  Thanks.

We're Home (For Now)

Once again, it has been a while since I have posted (I promise I will get better about this).  But, I have a good reason.  The Prairie Parsonage crew has been busy packing and unpacking.   One 600 mile move, one installation service, a visit from our family in Montana, three molars and a few first steps ago, we arrived at our new home in Iowa.  A lot can happen in a short amount of time
We are finally settled (if you ignore the unpacked boxes in our garage and basement) and we are loving our new home.  It has wood floors, two stories, built in china cabinets and character galore (the good kind).  The backyard has the largest and best sledding hill in town and trees that tower over us.  It is the kind of house I imagined myself having. 

The only problem is that it isn't really ours.  It is a parsonage.  Although I love that we don't have to do any maintence, fix things that are broken, or even pay the light bill, part of me is sad that we don't own it.  The reason is this.  This won't be the home our grown children come home to.  Even if we retire in our little town in Iowa, we won't retire in this house.  Our kids will never really have a childhood home to come home to.  My grandkids will not see where their daddy learned to ride his bike without training wheels.  They won't know where mommy hid during games of hide and seek.  They won't know this because we will no longer live here.

That is the downside of ministry.  But, ministry in so many ways, teaches us lessons that we need to learn.   None of us is truely home.  There is something inherent in a woman that makes her want to make a house a home.  That is why we paint, clean, decorate and garden.  But, no matter what we do, it is only a temporary dwelling on our way to our eternal home.  And although I love anything that has to do with decorating, my eternal home will be more beautiful than I could ever imagine. 

1 Corinthians 2:9 promises us,"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him."

Our Home (For Now)

I guess in the long run, it doesn't matter how many times I rearrange the living room furniture (or if I ever get that new couch I've been wanting), where my children come "home" to as adults, or if I get those shelves hung straight.  What matters most is whether or not I loved God with my whole heart and I did everything I could to point others to him.  Because someday, when we leave this earth, I will finally be to my one true home.

What I Wish I Would Have Said.

Yesterday, we were blessed to have a going away lunch and open house at our church.  For the past few weeks, I had been writing and rewriting what I wanted to say.  But, when the time came for me to say something, I didn't say everything that I wanted to.  So, instead, I thought I would share it on my blog.  Thank you to our first church!


Dear Church Family,

About six years ago, my husband and I were sitting at our table having a phone interview with your search committee.  I was a 27 year old kid who thought she knew so much, but in reality, knew very little.  You extended a call, and we accepted.  If I am to be honest, I reluctantly accepted.  Pastor's wife was not a description that was in my plan.  Pastor, maybe, but not the dreaded title of Pastor's Wife.  After all, aren't those the women who wear sensible shoes?  That was not me!

Here I am six years, two kids and a whole lot of life experience later.  Being in ministry can make a person grow up fast.  I have seen and experienced things that to be honest, are really beyond my skill level.  But, being in a rural isolated place means that a pastor and his wife become a jack of all trades.  We have counseled marriages, ministered to families who have lost loved ones, we have grieved the death of your loved ones, we have dealt with depression within our own family. 

We have experienced joy as we have watched couples start out their lives together.  We have met new members of our church family, some as grown ups and some as brand new babies.  We have seen God change us and change you.  You have become a kinder, softer church.  Not because of anything you have done or anything we have done.  But rather, because what the Lord has done.

So, here I am, a different person than six years ago.  Hopefully a better person.  Thank you for allowing me to be me.  Thank you for allowing me the time and space to figure out what this whole pastor's wife thing is about.  Some women complain about expectations in the ministry, but I really don't know what that is like.  This church has accepted me for who I am, let me be that person and as a result, I have been able to grow in Christ without being stifled by expectations.

But, mostly, I want to thank you for loving the two most important people in my life, my children.  You have taken them in as adopted grandkids, held them, loved them and been an extra pair of hands for me.  You have been an extended family when we were away from our extended family and for that we are extremely grateful.

Please know that you will be greatly missed.  You are dear and near to our hearts.  A new pastor and his family will come in to take our place and when they do, please be kind to them.  German from Russia country can be a tough place to live.  Go easy on those who come to serve you.  You have no idea what they are leaving behind in order to follow God's call.  Remember that they had a life before coming to your church, a life full of experiences and expertise.  Respect that, listen to them and cherish them.  Because even if you do not like them, they too, will most likely move on to another place and you can never get that time back.

You will be in our prayers as you seek God's direction for your future.  I am eternally grateful to have served you.

In Christ,
Katie

Mom: Aka Manager of Stuff

Packing is well under way at the Prairie Parsonage these days.  Everything we own is carefully being bubble wrapped, boxed, taped up and labled for a 600 plus mile journey to our new home.  Ok, in reality, most things are just getting thrown into a box, but I would like to think I am more organized than that.

In the midst of sorting through our things, my first thought is "Why in the world do we need all of this STUFF!"  It is merely stuff.  Thousands of dollars, spent on stuff.  Money that could be saved, money that could be used to help others.  Seeing everything you own out of cupboards, drawers and closets, makes a person realize how much she really has and how little she really needs.  It is very convicting.

Why do we have so much?  For a long time now, I have felt like I wake up each morning to start sifting through our stuff.  It annoyed me, it frustrated me and I am so very thankful for a move that will help us get rid of the clutter in our lives.  As Miss MT once said, "Nothing good comes from clutter."  Amen to that!

So, why am I ranting on this topic?  First, this is good therapy for me to vent!  (ok, just kidding on that).  It is more of a conviction.  Stuff is obviously filling some voids in the Prairie Parsonage, voids that are meant to be filled by God and God alone. 

Recently, I came across a box of stuff from my school years.  Notes (you know- those things that we used to pass in class before texting came along), pictures of prom and danceteam, my graduation cap, a map of the route we took on our honeymoon.  Bascially, a box of stuff that I am holding onto in order to preserve memories.  It's not a bad thing, but it made me realize that all of the time and effort I put into everything growing up was for one focus.  So that I could get a good paying job, make a lot of money and then I could buy stuff.

Stuff from the good old days!

But, much like the stuff of my growing up years, the stuff we buy now doesn't really mean much in the long run.  I am going to go out on a limb here, but I think that in South Central ND, we have a huge problem with stuff.  A friend who recently moved to the area said that once the snow is gone, the toys come out.  He is right.  4-wheelers, boats, campers, motorcycles, you name it, you see it.  I am not saying that these things are bad- they are good.  But, when used for the wrong reasons such as filling voids of relationships in our lives or worse, filling voids that only God can fill, they are toxic. 

Please don't think that I am judging.  Instead, I am looking at the giant log in my own eye.  But it does make me wonder.  If you and I maybe bought a little less stuff, focused a little more on our relationship with Christ and spent less time and money on our toys, what kind of impact would that have on our community?

My guess is that we would become just a little closer to our friends and neighbors, a little more like Christ and a little slower to anger (which us stubborn Germans and non Germans could definitely benefit from).  Just a few thoughts today from the Manager of Stuff.

Blogger's Block and Other Life Happenings

It is said that the number one rule of blogging is to do so regularly.  My readers (both of them) expect it.  But, I don't like to blog just to blog.  Why say something if you don't have anything good to say?  How annoying is that?!

Lately, I've had a serious case of blogger's block and I know why.  Over the course of the last year, the Rev. and I have been contemplating and praying about whether or not our time at our church is done.  We came to the conclusion that it was.  At the time, we did not know where the Lord was leading us, only that He was leading us to move on.  Not knowing the future is a scary thing.  It is not that any of us know it, but when we are in a steady job, in our mortgaged home, driving our mini van with 2.3 kids, we can at least fool ourselves into thinking we are in control. 

But, often, ministry is different.  Pastors and their families never seem to know when the Lord will move them on and in my opinion, this is a good thing.  It keeps us from relying on ourselves and instead causes us to lean on God. 

About three years ago a good friend, who is also a pastor's wife, moved from our little town to a bigger one in ND.  Before she left, she gave me a great piece of advice.  She told me to read Jeremiah 29, so I did.  It said to settle in the land God lead you to, to have kids, and pray for it.  We did.

Then, that's when the rumbling started.  There was a rumbling that this wasn't permanent, it wasn't forever, and that God had a different plan for both us and for our church.

During the past year, we have prayed, and prayed, and prayed some more about leaving and each time I wondered if we were making the right decision, I would see Jeremiah 29:11.  I have seen/read/heard this verse more times in the past year than in my entire life combined.

In March, we made the trip to our new church to candidate.  Interviewing with a three year old and a ten month old for an entire weekend in front of an entire congregation has to be the toughest interview I've ever had and I wasn't even applying for the job- the Rev. was.  But, that is another post for another time.

At the end of the weekend, I slipped out of Sunday School to try to get KJ to nap.  Without having any luck, I made my way from the nursery in the basement to the landing on the stairs and looked up.  That is where I saw a poster with Jeremiah 29:11 printed.  Then I knew that we were in His will.  We would be offered the position at this church and we would take it.  Through the months of praying, wondering, seeking and questioning, He kept reminding me that there was a purpose, a plan in all of it for my future.

I needed to go through those months.  I went through an awkward work experience and grieved the loss of a friendship.  I needed to step out in faith and quit my job, with nothing new lined up and to be honest, a very tight budget.  I needed to go through not knowing what the future held.  I needed to do this so I would rely on Him more and in turn He can use me to minister more.

So, now I know our next step  and it is a new pastorate.  It is interesting how God brings us on our journeys.  There are some out there that think that everything should always be easy- after all, He promises not to harm us right?  But, the Christian walk can be hard at times.  What is hardest for me is to trust Him.  I struggle to wait on Him.  I would much rather take things into my own hands than to not know what will happen tomorrow.

But, as C.S. Lewis puts it best, "The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is."

So, as the sun sets on another day, this chronic worrier is going to head to bed with the knowledge that He knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper and not to harm me, to give me a hope and a future.

May you remember to cling to God and the knowledge of His love for you.

Pink Slime of the Mind

Recently, pink slime, officially called finely textured meat, has hit the newswaves.  Whether or not you think that pink slime is safe, I think that we can all agree that the images are pretty disgusting, hence the reason it was given it's unofficial name.
This controversy is a testament to the power that information has on us.  Dubbed completely safe by official sources, the company that produces this product, Beef Products Inc., has had to suspend operations in three out of it's four plants due to financial woes.  Although I am glad that consumers are concerned about what they are putting in their bodies, it makes me wonder why we aren't so quick to filter out what we put in our mind.

Our media is filled with what I would like to think of as pink slime of the mind.  Little by little, we let it into our living rooms, our cars and our childrens' minds without much thought.  Yes, our bodies are important and we are called to be good stewards of them.  But what about our minds? 

I know that some will argue that society influences media, while others argue that media influences society, but either way, much of it needs to be filtered out.  It is not what God intends us to meditate and reflect on.

Almost a year ago, the prairie parsonage cut the ties with our cable company.  This wasn't a decision made out of spiritual pietism, but rather out of extreme frugality and ease of life.  I was about to take three months unpaid maternity leave and I really didn't want to spend it watching the Wiggles (guys dressed up as trekkies singing about fruit salad freak me out).  It was easier to cancel cable than to limit a two year old's TV intake while caring for a newborn.  There was no battle, extra money and I was spared from the horror of that creepy star on Sprout.

The first thing I noticed without cable was that I started growing more in my walk with God.  There was less distraction and background noise in our home.  That meant that in the quiet moments I could talk to God.  Before then, quiet moments were rare.

Second, I haven't really missed TV.  Yes, we may seem a bit like social freaks, but if there is something that I want to watch, I usually do so online.  Even then, we have filled our life with relationship with each other and now TV, movies and media really isn't so appealing.

1 Cor 13:15 states, "bad company corrupts good character."  This was orignally written in response to wrong doctrine that was being taught; doctrine stated that there was no resurruction.  Today, there is a different wrong doctrine being taught- one of moral relativism and apathy.  It is pretty much an anything goes mentality, but this mentality doesn't line up with scripture.

Does this mean that we don't ever interact with people who have different beliefs or that we completely cut ourselves off from society?  No.  It means that we need to be careful who and what we let into our lives.  For my husband and I, what we watched happened to be what shaped our hearts.  We aren't big music fans and we stick to pretty basic websites.  Our temptation to allow trash into our hearts came through our eyes. 

So, if a story on pink slime can cause such an uprising in the meat market, then just imagine if we stopped supporting movie studios, record companies and other pink slime producers.  Maybe, just maybe, they would listen and offer a healthy alternative.  But, even if they don't, we can choose what we chew on, whether it is pink slime of the mind or God's Word.

P.S. I spared you pictures in this post.  No one wants to see another pink slime picture!

A Must Read

Recently, I have started reading, The Resignation of Eve, by Jim Henderson.  I am only about a quarter of the way into the book and despite the fact that it is obviously biased (which I find extremely annoying), so far I have found it to be very thought provoking.
So, what is the book about?  It is about women resigning from church.  They either resign by leaving (such as when you leave a job), or attend, but just go through the motions (like resigning to the fact that they may never be able to serve in a way that they feel called).

Whatever your view on women in leadership may be, this book brings forth a very important point.  Namely, women are leaving the church and taking their families with them.

Here is my take on it.  Whether or not a woman can be a senior pastor, deacon, trustee, etc. can be A reason women leave the church, but it is it the most common one?  How many women do you know that are looking to add more to their plates?  I don't know about you, but another volunteer role that consumes hours of my time, doesn't really sound appealing to me.

So, why are women leaving the church?

1. Church is not meeting our needs.  We are tired, pulled in many directions, and frankly, in need of rest. I know that this isn't a good excuse, but as a fellow women, I get it when women say that they can't/don't want to volunteer.   In my theory, serving in the church leads to engagement and engagement means that people will stay.  So, men, here's what you can do to help.  Either step it up at church and take on some of the not so glamourous duties (like washing a few dishes at a potluck) OR step it up at home so your wife has more time/energy to help at church.  Each person needs to do some of the dirty work, but also some of the stuff that he or she is passionate about.  From my experience, women are often stuck with the menial tasks at church and that leads to burnout.  This is often when a woman either resigns by leaving the church, or resigns by checking out.

2. Church can be offensive and not in a "the gospel is offensive" kind of way.  I distinctly remember co-teaching with a male who told a group of high school girls that they were probably only going to stay home with kids.  Ouch.  I stay home with kids and I don't think of it as an "only" type thing.  It's a calling.  I have also worked and enjoyed a career and I have been thankful for that.  I found this comment offensive and hurtful and judging by the looks of the faces on the girls in the room it was damaging to them.  So, men, please think before you speak.  Just because you are a man does not mean that you are smart.  God created both men and women in His image.  Try to live up to that and make sure that what you are saying is in line with scripture and not just your take on the world.  I realize that some topics (such as women in leadership) are debateable, but a little sensitivity goes a long way.

3. Women are catty and we need to step it up.  Ok ladies, now it's your turn.  Please know that I am preaching to myself when I say this.  If anyone needs an attitude change in this area, it is me.  But, I think that some of these things apply to all of us.  We need to stop offending and taking offense in order to advance the gospel.  The power games, backstabbing, gossip and cliques need to stop!  Every church I have attended has them, no matter how big, small, healthy or unhealthy.  We need to set the example of what a church should look like.  What would happen if we decided that we were going to set our differences aside and seek to live a holy life?  What would happen if we bit our tongues (maybe even just once) and didn't say what we really wanted to say?  What if we spent more time in the word, less time fretting about the condition of our house, clothes, hair, etc.  What kind of change would take place in the church?  My guess is that it would become a place of grace and kindness, a place where other women wanted to be.

God has been doing a lot of work in me over the last few months.  I think it started when I had a baby girl and I realized that I would be the first example of a godly woman she would see.  What a huge task and calling!  But here's the deal.  The more I started growing, my husband started growing.  I didn't have to push or nag.  It just happened.  My goal wasn't to change him, in fact I wasn't even thinking about him.  I was thinking about me, my relationship with God and what kind of mother I wanted to be.  But, as I started working on my issues, our house became more peaceful, joyful and just flat out fun to be in. 

So, maybe I'm wrong, but if the church as a whole is anything like the prairie parsonage, once women step up to the plate and stop the games, then our church kitchens, foyers and sanctuaries will be a place where others WANT to be, not a place where they feel that the HAVE to be.  In fact, they may just be downright fun, no matter who is in leadership.